A New Perspective on Stress & A First World Problem

“What you resist persists.”

As the saying goes, the universe is always speaking to you. Yesterday afternoon in the midst of a little bout with stress, I came across this short clip, took a deep breath, and decided…ok, I get it.

This past weekend, I got some pretty bad news that I knew was likely coming, but still upset me when I took in the full weight of what was happening and what needed to happen next that I wasn’t prepared for.

A few days ago, my laptop officially gave out and broke up with me. As in, I was in my bathroom, unexpectedly heard this loud beeping noise over and over in the next room – and walked over to my desk to see my screen jumping repeatedly. I couldn’t stop it and it wouldn’t respond to any key strokes. I finally just turned it off, walked away thinking it needed “some rest” and would try starting it up again later. Well, it sure as heck is getting plenty of rest now, because it refuses to even boot up past the main screen.

Fast forward to the tech guy at Fry’s on Sunday, and apparently my motherboard has died.

I swear one of first things that crossed my mind was that episode on Sex and the City when Carrie’s beloved Mac laptop dies and she hadn’t heard of the concept of backing up her work, and then how completely freaked out (but comical) she was sitting in the repair shop waiting for the bad news. My reaction wasn’t freaking out – though I did curse myself for not backing up everything like I’ve been telling myself to do FOR YEARS…it was “great how in the hell am I going to be able to afford a new laptop right now?”

While I know that I had more than gotten my money’s worth out that laptop, along with a very healthy and lasting relationship of nearly 7 years, I’ve been stressed out because:

  1. Computers are not exactly considered a modern “luxury” anymore (especially given the industry I’m in and how the world works in general) so it’s not a question of if I replace it, but when I replace it.
  2. It’s difficult to call yourself a blogger without one.
  3. I wasn’t expecting this additional expense. (And this is the area I’m most stressed about.)

Admittedly, I realize that what I’m fretting about, while important to me at the moment, is still trivial if I step back and look at the big picture (or in this case, a complete first world problem). I have my health, a steady job, and therefore the means to figure out a solution – though I’m more fighting the urge and the acceptance of an additional expense to my budget, which I was really working hard to keep where it is, given that my rent increases next month. Talk about prefect timing for your computer to die, huh?

The fact remains that most people don’t get 7 years out of a laptop (and because I took great care of it – I should consider myself lucky I haven’t had to deal with it until now).  Luckily, my internal hard drive is likely okay, so I haven’t lost years of my digital life.

So what I take away from Eckhart Tolle’s words is to accept the situation, get out the mud of “why now?” and change it because I have to accept what is. A gal on the move in the 21st century like myself needs a working laptop.

Since I’m taking on this new perspective, I guess I should also be rather excited to be in the market for a new home computer. It’s been so long since I’ve had to buy one, that I’m sure this new laptop will blow my outdated device out of the water and I’ll betray every feeling I have right now about the expense when I’m like – “why didn’t I do this sooner?”

Bear with me over the next few weeks. I’ll be posting regularly, but if you don’t hear from me, it’s probably because I’m SO overwhelmed by the sheer volume of options in the laptop market while I research my next move, that I don’t want to be on a computer more than I have to be.

Just kidding…sort of. 🙂

My parting words to you: take a quick look at this short clip and see where and how you can change your perspective on that annoying, but very human thing we call stress. I know there’s someone out there who needs the universe to intervene at this exact moment and speak to you as well.

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We learned how to blog together.

R.I.P. Laptop

(2006-2013)

 

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Highlights. In a New York State of Mind.

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Like every other gal aged 20 to 30-something in modern society with a fetish for adventures in the city (though mine happen to be in L.A.) and a lover of all things high fashion (of which I cannot possibly afford…yet) – I’ve always had this secret fantasy of having my version of a Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle. I realize that what I am about to say could not be more of a fantastical cliché, but allow me to indulge a bit – it is my blog and the only place where I can go off on a tangent. 🙂

I’ve said it time and time again – I’m a California girl at heart and will always be – mainly due to my total affection for warm sunshine nearly 360 days a year and the “illusioned” freedom of my car. I’m not at all a fan of sitting in traffic on the 405 every morning, but like every native Angeleno I do adore my transportation bubble complete with an iced latte and a fully updated iPod to help me get there…eventually.

However, I have a confession. It’s crossed my mind more than once what life might be like if I had this great rent-controlled apartment in New York City and met my 3 best gal pals channeling the likes of Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda for weekend brunches and cocktail hours to catch-up on girl talk. My closet would be full of more shoes than days in a year, and designer labels are all that would grace my perfectly sculpted back. My kitchen would be practically empty because I’d be eating out at all the hottest restaurants in the city every single night (hey, it’s my fantasy!). And I’d be a published writer with magical connections to get in anywhere, at any time; where you’d likely catch me cashing-in on said connections while getting a huge discount at Manolo Blahnik. Ah, the good life.

Where things would differ in my fantasy are that while I wouldn’t mind being an accomplished writer on the side (perhaps of the fictional variety), my main focus would be on producing independent and documentary films (I wouldn’t want to spend my time writing about relationships and sex for a living…sorry Carrie!). You can’t take the L.A. out of me completely.

So where did this sudden fantasy come from and why did I choose to share it as a Highlight from my week?

Enter New York Fashion Week.

I can’t say that I usually follow the shows all that closely, but I’ve been spending some time this week watching the live streaming feed of the runways – falling into the glitz, the buzz, and the excitement that seems to be vibrating around New York City right now. And though much of it is not necessarily something I or most people could wear from a practical standpoint (referring to when random components pop-off the material in such a way that you couldn’t possibly even sit down), I have been enjoying the artistic expression on the runways for the Spring 2014 collections.

I’m far from the fashionista that wears anything more high-end than from say, Free People or Macy’s at this time; but I do look forward to the day where fantasy and reality collide and I’d find myself in New York, in the audience right next to S.J.P. herself, rockin’ designer label everything…and not because I need to…but just because I can.

Fantasy complete.

Here are a few more Highlights from this week:

1-2013-09-04 20.34.00{Another confession: My yoga class was canceled at the last minute this week so I used the money that I was going to use to pay for that class to buy a large pizza for myself instead. Don’t judge. If it helps, I made a side salad too. :)}

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{Started a new read that I’m having trouble putting down: Falling Into You by Jasinda Wilder. #steamy}

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{Still buzzing from The Hollywood Bowl.}

Happy weekend!

Highlights

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{Taking in a moment of beauty during the chaos of this week.}

I know I’ve been an awful blogger this week, but I have a good excuse…at least I think so.

Life has been pretty insane lately on my end and I’m just now catching my breath long enough to be able to sit down, focus, and write. It’s been really busy at work and while dealing with the day-to-day, I’ve also been working on this big project for the last 2 weeks that I wanted to get done right, but that also weighed on me quite heavily because of my rather “perfectionistic tendencies” (that’s a cool new term I just came up with at this exact moment!). Needless to say, it was such a huge relief to complete it and hit the “send” button yesterday to finally get it off my plate!

Now that I’ve fully recovered from my recent bout with the common cold and I’m trying to re-balance and catch-up on life stuff once again, I’ve been able to get to the all important things that I haven’t had (or in certain cases made) the time to get to…(like blogging). Then again it’s been so crazy that you should’ve seen my fridge not too long ago (pictured below), that’s how “off” I’ve been lately. After a much-needed trip to Trader Joe’s to stock up on groceries (yay, fresh produce!); finally deciding on my next book (that I know you’ll laugh at me about if I actually say what it is because it’s pretty trashy novel-esque – so I won’t for now!); along with finishing up that huge project and making a full recovery from my cold, it’s safe to say things are looking up!

I’m SO, SO, SO looking forward to the long holiday weekend! There’s still some more life stuff I need to catch-up on (like cleaning my bathroom, for one…hooray! NOT.) but Sunday evening cannot come any faster…but not too fast – I want to savor the weekend as long as possible. I’ll be at the Hollywood Bowl with my favorite person at my favorite place in all of L.A. I made a visit there this time last year, and had the time of my life. I’m sure this year will be even more magical. We’ll be celebrating a night of movies and music under the stars again with the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra and conductor, David Newman, but this time for The Big Picture: A Night at the Oscars.

I can’t wait to share how the evening goes with you next week and I promise you’ll hear from me more than once!

Until then, here are a few more highlights from a very busy week. See you soon! 🙂

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{When life gets in the way and you haven’t been to the grocery store in 2 weeks.}

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{A trip to the Arclight to see You’re Next. It’s an intentionally campy horror flick, but a pretty good time.}

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{A wonderful afternoon at The Annenberg Space for Photography to see their most recent exhibition – Helmet Newton: White Women, Sleepless Nights, Big Nudes. It closes September 8th.}

Highlights

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{Slowly starting to feel like my old self again. Who-hoo!}

Between the common cold and  general life stresses, the last few weeks have been rough. The great news is that things are falling somewhat back into place and I’m starting to feel like my old self again. I’m happy to report that I even went to my first yoga class after a month off, and while it wasn’t at my fancy schmansy yoga studio, it was a lovely class better suited to my price range and it was so nice to get back on the mat.

Otherwise, this week has been all about re-balancing things and trying to enjoy life’s little pleasures. I can’t tell you how much I’m enjoying the taste of food again since my sinuses finally cleared up. And the fact that I can actually breathe in and out without much effort is quite divine. It’s when you get sick that you once you recover you really start to appreciate even the simplest of things as this.

I don’t have much going on this weekend as of typing this, but I do have a lot of life and errand catching up to do since I was bed-ridden all last weekend. I’m looking forward to starting a new novel (though I’m not sure what yet) after finishing And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini. While I found the book to one of the most eloquently written I think I’ve ever read, with engaging stories and characters, the book turned out to be rather anti-climatic for some reason to me in the end. I was waiting for the life-altering bomb to drop that would throw the narrative into a surprising new direction. I realize that because each chapter focuses on the perspective of one person among a group of interconnected characters over many generations, that it may be hard to do this – but I felt rather unsatisfied as I finished the last page. Perhaps it’s time to shake things up with a good mystery/thriller!

So as we close out another week, I’m grateful I made it through my first cold in years and ready to enjoy the rest of the summer. Cheers to a great weekend!

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{How to survive the common cold: lots of Kleenex and a day with the girls.}

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{On dessert duty for girl’s night at Buttercelli.}

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{Enjoying a moment in the grass.}

How to Survive a Plague

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Okay, okay – I admit that the title of today’s post is a bit dramatic and a total rip-off from a very serious, but great documentary from last year (that everyone should see, by the way). No, I haven’t contracted a life threatening disease or anything, but I did for the first time in years actually get sick over the weekend. (Pausing to let that marinate.) Why is this such a big deal? Well, I’m one of those people with a strong immune system that doesn’t have to deal with the common cold very often so this is pretty big news. The greater issue is why I got sick in the first place!?!

Spending 3 days in bed doesn’t give a gal much to do other than to spend a lot of time thinking about lots of random things (I think I’ll sign up for Italian classes after all) while figuring out the fastest way to get back to your normal self because in the moment you feel so crappy you think you might not make it and start planning your will (To my brother Drew: if I don’t make it – you can have my beloved car…I’m almost done paying for it 🙂). On the other hand, there are 5 epiphanies I had after surviving my ordeal.

Here’s what I learned:

{1} Something’s off and it’s time to do something about it.

As you can tell from my last 2 Highlight’s post (here and here) things have been very off-balance in my life lately and the fact that I got sick was a wake-up call as to how off-balance. I stopped taking my awesome yoga classes, I’m skipping meals (because I’ve trained myself to not like eating breakfast except on weekends again for some reason), and I’m stressed out in every area of my life. The problem is balance. Realizing that it’s time to take a chill pill and come up with a game plan, I’ve decided it’s time to make some changes. One of them being that it’s beyond time to get back into a steady work-out routine, my yoga practice, and enjoying my much-loved outdoorsy activities (even if it means going alone).

{2} The best way to open congested sinuses in 3 seconds flat.

I don’t know about you, but though I’m not a fan of being sick – it’s not the end of the world. In general, us ladies have a much greater threshold for pain because it visits us on a monthly basis for 45 straight years. However, the absolute worst part is by far the constant congestion that ultimately causes me to lose my sense of taste and smell. So I decided to figure out a way to calm my sinus pressure/congestion with a bit of research. I learned that while it feels counter-intuitive because you’re blowing your nose every 2 minutes – your sinuses are actually craving moisture and steam helps! Sure, a nice long hot shower feels great, but I had much better success with boiling a pot of hot water and carefully inhaling the steam. My congestion alleviated after just a few seconds. Be careful when placing your nose over the steam, I don’t want to be responsible for your face melting off.

{3} Eating is NO FUN when you can’t taste your food, but there is a silver lining.

While I’m not promoting the sick diet and can’t enjoy 2 out of 5 of my favorite senses when I’m on it, it seems my appetite goes right out the window too. I did make a point to stay really hydrated, but just couldn’t do much food. Since you’re always supposed to find the silver lining in every situation, I thought I would share that I dropped a few pounds over the weekend without much effort at all. At least something good came of this.

{4} Entertainment is crucial.

You’ll likely be spending a lot of time alone while you convalesce. I spent $100 on the Sex and the City Complete Series as a gift to myself on my 26th birthday and I’ve MORE than gotten my money’s worth. Every time I’m down – any disc from any season, or either movie makes me happy. My advice? Spend as much time with the girls as you can when you’re under the weather. Every giggle instantly made me feel better between chaffing nose blows. (If your male, I heard Entourage provides the same effect for bros).

{5} A little kindness goes a long way.

Before I succumbed to the true depths of my cold (circa day 2 was the worst), I had a girl’s night planned that I was looking forward to all week that I didn’t want to skip but didn’t want to drag my sickly carcass over and spread my germs to my girlfriend. I wasn’t exactly hacking every where at that point (or I wouldn’t have gone), nor was I in full-blown sick mode yet, but it really made my weekend when my friend not only encouraged me to still come over, but ordered me some miso soup to go with our sushi feast to help make me feel better. The horror was that I couldn’t taste any of it after the first 2 bites (I’m still devastated…DEVASTATED about this) – but it meant the world to me that she didn’t treat me like a complete leper and watched a crappy movie with me. Thank you! 🙂

And this my friends is how to survive a plague…or the more accurate (but much less dramatic) common cold: figure out what’s off-balance, keep those sinuses clear with my new trick, look forward to shedding those last 5 stubborn pounds, make sure you have appropriate entertainment, and someone sweet enough to bring you soup.

Here’s to clear breathing! Ahh!

Highlights

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{A thoughtful gift from a friend’s garden brightened a not so awesome week.}

Not to be a complete Negative Natalie, but this week was pretty crappy in general. Do you ever have that experience of things not going quite so well with the brilliant caveat that it’s all happening at the exact same time? Well, it’s been one of those weeks.

Drama, a general lack of energy, busy at work, topped-off by being dead on “E” and needing to get gas in the middle of the night (against all my principles) are some of the culprits. Even better, your debit card not working at said gas station because of possible fraudulent activity so you have to contact the bank because guess what – you don’t have any cash! Really? Now I’m spending even more time in a gas station…at night…alone…against my principles.

Ladies, I know it can’t just be me. Don’t you get that eerie sense that if you don’t keep alert when you’re in a gas station by yourself late at night with creepy guys wandering around (without cars, no less) that if you close your eyes for a second longer than necessary, that someone is going to come up behind you and kidnap you? Perhaps it’s just one too many scary movies for me but I refuse to become a statewide amber alert.

I’m also beginning to wonder just how much yoga plays a part in maintaining balance in your life. It’s been a month now since I’ve practiced, and while I’m not saying that life itself was any better or worse when I was practicing consistently; I am saying that I think I was somehow different, which made me react to circumstances differently.

I’m still trying to figure out what to do about my yoga practice ever since my membership to my amazing yoga studio expired and quite honestly, I’ve been slacking on dealing with it. (I know, I know.) It’s even crossed my mind to just buy a DVD and do it at home, but I don’t think it would be quite the same. There really is a synergy to yoga when you practice with like-minded people and have your favorite instructor come over and adjust your posture. This, among other things, is something I’ve got to look into ASAP.

On a brighter note, I’ve been reading a really great novel for my book club meeting next week that I can’t wait to sit down and discuss with the gals over a glass of wine. If you’re looking for a new read, And the Mountians Echoed by Khaled Hosseini has been a welcome distraction. I’m only about half way through so I can’t vouch for it entirely; but so far, so good. And while I wasn’t expecting much from the new film, Jobs (wait for a rental), it was fun to go to an advanced screening during a busy week to get away from it all for a while. I will say, that while I didn’t really care for the film, Ashton Kutcher pulled off such a complicated character pretty admirably. If anything, it was astounding to see him transform into that character. He looked so much like Steve Jobs from a certain angle at times that you could’ve fooled me.

The great news is that weekends always put things into perspective and you get the chance to start again. I’m really looking forward to a girl’s night tonight. Redbox, sushi take-out, and good conversation are on the way.

Have a nice weekend!

Highlights

Happy Friday! Boy, am I looking forward to the weekend coming off an exhausting week. Last weekend, I got the worst “stomach bug” (if that’s what you want to call it because I could never actually pinpoint what caused it in the first place) that took a few days to shake. The pain subsided after a day or so, but physically drained me in a way that lingered for days. I don’t get sick or experience ailments very often (aside from my horrible allergies to dust and anything furry) but it’s when you’re under the weather you truly realize that there’s no better reminder to treasure your good health. Needless to say, once this passed, it sure made me grateful for mine!

Though I spent most of last weekend trying to take it easy, I managed to see The Spectacular Now at the Arclight and spent some time perusing Amoeba before the movie started. As far as The Spectacular Now goes, I was pretty disappointed overall. The film was the talk of Sundance (behind Fruitvale Station) this year and the trailer, very enticing. While I personally thought the film wasn’t executed very well (mainly due to casting choices and some script issues) it did make me want to read Tim Tharp’s novel from which the film was adapted. I suspect that the weaknesses in the film are more eloquently developed in the book because it has the substance to make a very rich story.

Otherwise, most nights this week I was simply content to be at home enjoying my new Kindle reading this month’s book club selection in between watching hours (and yes, more hours) of Friday Night Lights. This is the newest Netflix addiction that I am just now catching up on at a speed that’s pretty insane because I love it so much. Yes, I realize this news is about 7 years too late.

I did venture out 2 nights that were the absolute highlights of my week. Meeting a friend to catch-up on some girl talk over much-needed strawberry margaritas (in an awesome pineapple shell no less) was the perfect way to kick-off the work week; and seeing Blackfish last night, a documentary that explores the exploitation and psychology of orca killer whales once captured and trained to entertain millions at SeaWorld. Apparently, Shamu and his peers are a part of some of the biggest cover-ups in modern times.  It certainly sparks a continued debate about removing species from their natural habitat for the sole purpose of human enjoyment. This film is worth a visit to the theater.

While it isn’t expected to be too warm this weekend, the sun seems to be making a solid comeback. The plan is to hit the beach and hang out with my Kindle, my guy, and the ocean.

Have a great weekend!

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{Strawberry margaritas and girl talk at Pink Taco.}

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{New to my collection? Couldn’t pass up on The September Issue on a recent visit to Amoeba.}

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{Starting my first official novel on my new Kindle Paperwhite – And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini. So far, so good!}

Highlights

I’ve got a confession to make. I caved in a pretty big way this week. Those who know me, know I’m a total book-worm. I rarely leave the house without a book in my bag. It’s about as essential to me as making sure I have my wallet, phone, and car keys at all times. I’ve been a loyal fan of reading for as long as I can remember – back to the days of R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps, The Babysitters Club, and let’s not forget the seemingly never-ending Sweet Valley High series. Friday nights killing time in bookstores and Saturday afternoons in the library were quite common growing up. As I’ve gotten older, I realize just how influential those days were to me the more I think about it. I’ve even blogged about it in my Ode to Bookstores.

The funny things is almost 20 years later, nearly all of the books that I read are still checked out from the library and are, in fact, “real” books! There’s something so nostalgic about being around and carrying physical books. I love the smell. I love to turn pages. I love to see the progression of a bookmark as I make my way through a great novel.  And I love, love, love stories (hence my eternal devotion to film; a story that started on paper that became visual). So the big highlight of my week was making the decision to go digital when I gave into the new Kindle Paperwhite.

I debated for a while over making the switch not only because of the cost, but because I wondered if the experience of reading would be as “genuine” as a real book. And while libraries are slowing building their downloadable e-media content for Kindle’s, I know that buying technology like this inevitably also means that I’ll be spending more money on books, which is something I’ve avoided altogether by using the library. Unlike music or films, I hardly ever re-read books, so while I do enjoy them and have a small book collection at home, I’ve never been able to justify the cost and it’s also saved me a lot of space.

Ultimately, the decision came down to ease (and I won’t lie, a little bit of awe in having a new gadget too – it’s my much belated birthday present to myself!). I can access over a millions books at any time, storing over 1,000 of them in my device; at no where near the bulk that it would take up in my purse to carry a single book (and I’ve stretched out quite a few handbags lugging around 500 page hard cover books over the years). I think future handbags and my aging shoulders are already grateful.

This doesn’t mean that my relationship with books is over, it just means it’s changing…knowing that they won’t be too far away.

I’ll let you know how it goes. Have a great weekend guys!

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Highlights

I’ve been in a strange mood all week that I just haven’t been able to shake. I get this way when I know it’s time to make a change in some area of my life or I need to shift some my energies around. I’m definitely that person who likes to chill out, but I would say I also need a steady stream of stimulation as much as possible because I get bored so easily! So perhaps I’m having a terrible case of simple boredom this week!?! Unfortunately, I don’t think that this is what’s ultimately causing my bizarre mood. It seems to be a mixture of things.

What I do think is attributing to my mood is, ironically, a blog post that I have been working on for almost a week now that I’ve been having the hardest time writing. Part of my site focuses heavily on the art of cinema because it’s my greatest passion; absorbing another world, another narrative, creatively. I saw Fruitvale Station last week and was so upset by what I saw, that it took me a few days to wrap my head around what I experienced as a viewer to be able to formulate my thoughts before I even began writing my film review.

I’ve struggled all week to articulate what I saw and how I felt and I think it’s because I’m placing too much pressure on myself to get it just right given the controversial series of events about what happened. I’m very conscious of what I put out into the universe on my site. I want what I say to be clear, well-written, but even more importantly, something that I feel proud enough to share knowing that I’ve presented a thoughtful position that I back 100%. I want to honor my opinion, yet remain respectful. Writing film reviews is not usually this challenging for me, though they are by far the posts that take days to write. I think part of my anxiety is also the social and racial climate going on this country right now in light of the Trayvon Martin case and realizing that Fruitvale happened not that long ago; and while a different case altogether, an argument for how our justice system is failing people can be made.

I’m nearly done with my review of Fruitvale Station and look forward to sharing it with you next week. In the meantime, I encourage you to see it. It’s a memorable film that reminds us that you never know when your last day will be or why.

Despite my strange mood, this week had some amazing highlights and as I reflect on them, I can feel my spirits shifting. A trip to the Natural History Museum to check out the new Becoming LA exhibit (post to come!) and attending the LA premiere of the new Woody Allen film, Blue Jasmine among them. I’d bet big money on a best actress Oscar nod for Cate Blanchett. She nailed that performance! It opens in New York and LA today. Go see it and then go see Fruitvale Station.

Have a great weekend! xx

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{A visit to the Gem Vault while at the Natural History Museum. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend!}

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{A stop at Ben & Jerry’s on National Ice Cream Day.}

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{Attending the LA premiere of Blue Jasmine! Two thumbs up :)}

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Inspired.

One of my favorite things to do is to collect quotes. I’ve done it since I was 16 years old. I have notebooks full of thoughts and ideas; words that resonated with me from the moment I first heard or read them. In recent times, I’ve started collecting them online – yet I do feel a nostalgia toward writing them down once again as I was crafting this post. There’s something about pen to paper and being able to sift through years of wisdom in an aging notebook when I’m having a bad day that’s soothing and helps put things into perspective. If so, these would be additions to my notebook: a few of my favorite words recently collected as a perfect reminder to keep going, to keep dreaming.

Some days, you just need a little inspiration.  xx

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