“What you resist persists.”

As the saying goes, the universe is always speaking to you. Yesterday afternoon in the midst of a little bout with stress, I came across this short clip, took a deep breath, and decided…ok, I get it.

This past weekend, I got some pretty bad news that I knew was likely coming, but still upset me when I took in the full weight of what was happening and what needed to happen next that I wasn’t prepared for.

A few days ago, my laptop officially gave out and broke up with me. As in, I was in my bathroom, unexpectedly heard this loud beeping noise over and over in the next room – and walked over to my desk to see my screen jumping repeatedly. I couldn’t stop it and it wouldn’t respond to any key strokes. I finally just turned it off, walked away thinking it needed “some rest” and would try starting it up again later. Well, it sure as heck is getting plenty of rest now, because it refuses to even boot up past the main screen.

Fast forward to the tech guy at Fry’s on Sunday, and apparently my motherboard has died.

I swear one of first things that crossed my mind was that episode on Sex and the City when Carrie’s beloved Mac laptop dies and she hadn’t heard of the concept of backing up her work, and then how completely freaked out (but comical) she was sitting in the repair shop waiting for the bad news. My reaction wasn’t freaking out – though I did curse myself for not backing up everything like I’ve been telling myself to do FOR YEARS…it was “great how in the hell am I going to be able to afford a new laptop right now?”

While I know that I had more than gotten my money’s worth out that laptop, along with a very healthy and lasting relationship of nearly 7 years, I’ve been stressed out because:

1. Computers are not exactly considered a modern “luxury” anymore (especially given the industry I’m in and how the world works in general) so it’s not a question of if I replace it, but when I replace it.
2. It’s difficult to call yourself a blogger without one.
3. I wasn’t expecting this additional expense. (And this is the area I’m most stressed about.)

Admittedly, I realize that what I’m fretting about, while important to me at the moment, is still trivial if I step back and look at the big picture (or in this case, a complete first world problem). I have my health, a steady job, and therefore the means to figure out a solution – though I’m more fighting the urge and the acceptance of an additional expense to my budget, which I was really working hard to keep where it is, given that my rent increases next month. Talk about prefect timing for your computer to die, huh?

The fact remains that most people don’t get 7 years out of a laptop (and because I took great care of it – I should consider myself lucky I haven’t had to deal with it until now).  Luckily, my internal hard drive is likely okay, so I haven’t lost years of my digital life.

So what I take away from Eckhart Tolle’s words is to accept the situation, get out the mud of “why now?” and change it because I have to accept what is. A gal on the move in the 21st century like myself needs a working laptop.

Since I’m taking on this new perspective, I guess I should also be rather excited to be in the market for a new home computer. It’s been so long since I’ve had to buy one, that I’m sure this new laptop will blow my outdated device out of the water and I’ll betray every feeling I have right now about the expense when I’m like – “why didn’t I do this sooner?”

Bear with me over the next few weeks. I’ll be posting regularly, but if you don’t hear from me, it’s probably because I’m SO overwhelmed by the sheer volume of options in the laptop market while I research my next move, that I don’t want to be on a computer more than I have to be.

Just kidding…sort of. 🙂

My parting words to you: take a quick look at this short clip and see where and how you can change your perspective on that annoying, but very human thing we call stress. I know there’s someone out there who needs the universe to intervene at this exact moment and speak to you as well.

We learned how to blog together.

R.I.P. Laptop

(2006-2013)