Highlights

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I look at this image and it pretty much sums up how I feel at the moment, soon embarking down a new path – while still trying to take in the beauty and enjoy the journey as you walk toward the fog unknown.

So, you might have noticed that I was M.I.A. for two weeks prior to my last post (on what had to be the bright spot since we last caught up, my time at the AFI Film Festival). Rather than go into the details as to why, I’ll leave it at that it’s because they’ve been pretty lousy weeks if I’m at all honest. I’m definitely at a proverbial crossroads in my life. I realize that when things aren’t going so well, it’s probably a good time as ever to sit down and write about it to help give you perspective and get things off your chest, but I often struggle with how much to share and how much to keep private here, particularly when you take into account that once you put something out into the blogosphere, you never know how it might come back to bite you in the ass. As such, I’ve taken the approach of usually writing about the lesson learned, or what the universe is trying to tell me through whatever difficulty, and perhaps my feelings about it, rather than go into specifics. It just works for me.

It didn’t help that I got sick during this time, but as I look back over it now that I’ve (nearly) recovered, it wasn’t a surprise. I don’t get sick too often, but when I do, it typically takes place around a time of immense stress for me. I think my immune system likely takes a bit of a nose dive, I’m likely not eating enough or right, and therefore become more susceptible to not being able to fight off a simple virus that I would otherwise kick the crap out of. Though it always sucks to be home sick, I actually welcomed it with open arms this time around. I was actually grateful to be lying in bed for 3 days straight nursing a cold because it immediately put things in perspective. (It was also a productive time to get through my Netflix queue). It finally got my mind off the things that were bothering me, and forced me to focus on taking care of myself and getting some rest. In other words, it forced me to be present. It also made me realize that while I think the aforementioned situation that’s been bugging me still sucks, it’s not worth further jeopardizing my health over.

Add in the fact that I think anyone who has a passion for blogging (or whatever your choice passion may be), also goes through phases of complete burnout and lack of inspiration, and it’s almost required of you to take a step back and regroup. My only regret was that I didn’t say so before I took that break (sorry!). I’m still here…for the time being.

The good news is that things are starting to turn around for the better, mostly because I’ve learned to accept the situation (after much moping about it) and then because I decided to do something about it (once I stopped moping about it), which is quite empowering. You know that old saying along of the lines of: accept the things you cannot change, and change the things you can?

Well, I’m decidedly changing them.

I’m grateful that I’m at least in a situation where I can. I’m pretty nervous about it, I admit. It’ll be a journey to get where I’m trying to go and likely a bumpy one, but what I know for sure is that it’s time to take it. I’ve gotten my sign. I only hope that I remember to try to see the beauty in it, trust my instincts, and enjoy it. Somehow this black and photo I came across while looking for the perfect image to go with this post makes me feel more confident about taking new paths.

It’s my first weekend back in the swing of things since the last two found me at the festival one weekend, and home sick last weekend. I’m looking forward to it.

Have a nice weekend! x

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 Image credit: “Un instant magique” by Fan.D & Dav.C Photography used under CC BY.

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This quote from Lao Tzu speaks to me because I am the first person to admit that I have a hard time being present. The good news is that I’m very aware of this complication in my personality, the bad news is that I still struggle with it…often. My mind frequently wanders throughout the day to the next thing. It’s always about what I have to do next, where I have to go next, and when I have to get it done by. The trouble is, this usually happens while I’m dead in the middle of doing something that should already require my full attention.

Essentially, I’m almost always in a state of forward thinking, forward planning; forgetting to just stop, breathe and just enjoy what is. The important part to note is that during all this forward thinking, day-dreaming, and yes, even backwards reflection (but that’s another post for another time) – is I’ve somehow trained myself not only to not be 100% in the moment a large chunk of the time, but that I can somehow continue this train of thought AND get whatever needs my immediate attention in the present done in a manner that still suits my perfectionism. I call this unique ability “multitasking.” You might call it, crazy.

Needless to say, I realize there are times that I am missing out on the simple joys in life because my thoughts are elsewhere. Don’t get me wrong, I’m much better at this than I used to be. Yoga has been a great outlet for me (but I admit that have been known to mentally make my Trader Joe’s grocery list while in downward dog). Getting older (and ideally wiser) has helped. Blogging is one of things that forces me to be present (though you’d still be amazed at what I can do at the same time I’m writing). And I think I’ve picked up some of my boyfriend’s completely relaxed energy (where he annoyingly has absolutely no problem being totally and completely present almost all of the time – while I’m still festering over something that happened 2 days ago :)). 

So this little gem of a quote I stumbled across this week was a concept that instantly hit home for me and I’m sure many of you. We live in a time where GO, GO, GO – DO, DO, DO – BE, BE, BE inundates us from the time we wake up forcing us to always be thinking ahead – because if you don’t, you’re not in the game, right? I’m not so sure about this anymore.

As with everything in life, there is a journey. Perhaps mastering this is part of mine.

What’s yours?

I hope you’re lovin’ this quote as much as I am and it gets you to think about your own journey… and making sure you’re present enough to enjoy every single step.

love & light,

Candice


here’s what i’m lovin’ right now


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*click photos for image sources.