Words That Gave Me Pause

Happiness is the settling of the soul into its most appropriate spot.― Aristotle 4

This week took a nose dive with everything that’s been going on in the press as of late and it’s creating much discussion about the severity of depression and addiction. I recently signed up for The Daily Love email after stumbling across Mastin Kipp on Oprah.com. Mastin calls his blog “a dose of love” and the message he spreads “a free daily e-multivitamin for the soul.” I can get behind that.

In the wake of the tragic news of Robin Williams’ passing, he sent out a poignant and expressive post yesterday, “Goodbye Genie, You’re Free…,” about depression and addiction that eloquently created a real life “ah-ha moment” for me. It was these words that gave me pause:

…we know that depression has something to do with the brain. I believe it also has something to do with the spirit.
My therapist told me many years ago that re-pression tends to lead to de-pression.
What’s that mean? It means that our spirits are meant to be free. They are meant to create, to Love and be Loved.
When that process halts itself because of repression, we can get depressed.
We are meant to be free. When a series of events happens in life that prevents that freedom, naturally we lean towards depression. Because there’s a part of us that knows that we aren’t living our purpose.

“Re-pression tends to lead to de-pression.” Wow. In all my years as a student of life, I’ve consciously made it a point to absorb the wisdom of others, particularly, when it comes to spiritual/life development. Yet, I don’t think I had quite ever heard this idea expressed so succinctly and powerfully. And though there are certainly different levels and forms of depression; ranging from a possible severe chemical imbalance in the brain, to hormones, to simply experiencing a string of bad days – I think back on the times when I’ve been down and this one sentence seems all too fitting. I was likely in a state where I wasn’t in full expression in some area of my life, that therefore, manifested itself into feelings of sadness.

As human beings, we can all relate to this. I would argue that this feeling is cyclical, meant to return in our lives as an S.O.S. when it’s time to move to the next stage. Our spirit is speaking to us. The goal is to learn to listen, then act accordingly.

While resonating with me, these words might not be enough for someone with a clinical form of depression. More intense resources are likely needed (long-term therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, etc.). I won’t get into all that because I’m by no means qualified to speak to it.

What I will say, is that the news of Robin’s passing was a huge shock to many of us, myself included, because of our perception — or better misperception — of a person. When we’re used to seeing someone smiling and joking, we assume that all must be well in their world. The fact is we never really know what’s going on with a person. It’s especially difficult if they want to keep it that way. All we can do is be there for those that we love and make sure they know it; reminding them and ourselves that every sunrise and sunset, no matter the storm we may find ourselves in during those hours, is a gift. And like all gifts, my hope is that we’ll get the opportunity to see what’s inside. Essentially, it’s life.

I had always hoped that we might see Mrs. Doubtfire make an on-screen appearance again (and there were strong rumors of a sequel a few months ago). It’s still one of those films and characters that make me smile and think of my childhood. Peace to you, Mr. Williams….and to all of us.

Dead Poets Society Quote ATG FINAL

 

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Image credit: “Beach” by Catherine, used under CC BY / text added from original.

Highlights

On combating restlessness…

Since we last caught up, that was something I aimed for as I maneuvered through the week, understanding that when this feeling arises in life, it’s likely a sign from the universe to shake things up, however big or small you choose. And while I began the process of working through a big area in my life by becoming really honest with myself  – I chose to take the smaller, more subtle route, for much of it.

Little tweaks here and there: experimenting with a new make-up technique, listening to new music, subscribing to a new magazine (and only $5 thanks to Groupon!); or taking a conscious moment to enjoy the simplest of pleasures: connecting with other bloggers during an engaging Twitter chat, watching YouTube videos for much-needed life inspiration from my favorite thought-provokers…along with a few of these special moments, started to add up and help combat that unwelcome feeling:

Urth Waffles

{Taking myself to lunch for the first in ages at one of my favorite places. And trust me, waffles help with whatever is going on in life. Immensely.}

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{Enjoying a bright nail polish after a relaxing at home pedicure.}

FLOWERS

{They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a $4 bouquet of flowers for myself from Trader Joe’s and that’s pretty much the same thing.}

Let all your life out

{Words that spoke to me while visiting  the “Made in LA” exhibition at the Hammer Museum: “Let all your life out.”}

Looking forward to a warm weekend ahead. We’re headed out to my old stomping grounds, The O.C. as you may know, to The Orange County Fair. I promise NOT to overindulge…well, too much. Have a great weekend! xx Blog Signature Official_FINAL


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Highlights

ATG FINAL

{Laguna Beach, dusk.}

There’s nothing like a summer night. I was at a wedding last weekend where I stepped outside for a few minutes and saw this incredible view! We were about 2 blocks from the beach. What a sight to see the sun setting over the water. What is it about staring at the ocean and inhaling the gentle breeze that just makes the mind start to wander?

And wander it did.

Truth be told, I’ve been restless lately. I’m taking it as a sign that it’s time for some changes. I suppose it’s life’s way of nudging us forward…or in an entirely new direction altogether. I can pinpoint exactly where this restlessness is coming from. It’s just a matter of making a decision on what to do about it and acting on it. It’s when you don’t, that it seems to seep into just about everything else in your life – or at least that’s my experience with it.

Despite this feeling that’s been following me around lately, it’s been a good week overall. I’m gearing up to co-produce a pretty intense, yet deliciously interesting documentary project, which means the summer is about to get busier!

I also went to my first yoga class in ages this week and boy, have I missed my practice. Even when I’m laying in shavasana thinking about how I can’t wait to get home and eat that aforementioned chicken lasagna (which you’re NOT supposed to be doing if you’re performing the pose right), it still felt so invigorating to be back in a yoga studio, breathing deeply, and doing something completely good for myself. This is what yoga is for me: a space in which I know, without fail, that I am consciously taking the time to take care of and connect with myself. Perhaps as I continue with my practice and think through my restlessness, answers will find their way to me much more gracefully and naturally, than me trying to fight my way toward them.

I’ve been wondering as I write this how others deal when life becomes a little too restless. This seems to be part of a larger cycle in life. And not in a sense where it’s just a day or two here and there, but when you have a feeling that somehow the days just melt into one another. Does a drastic change help? Do smaller alterations make the difference? Is it as simple as adjusting my routine? A new hairstyle? Expanding my circle?

The good news is that in spite of all this, I know that there’s much to be grateful for and always look for that when that wandering mind takes over.

It’ll be another low-key weekend here. And perhaps this is part of the problem now that I think about it. I enjoy quiet weekends as much as anyone. Oftentimes, you need that slower pace to re-charge. But I think my spirit is telling me that that road trip I’ve always wanted to take to the Grand Canyon needs to happen sooner than later. Perhaps my spirit just needs a little more adventure, to stop with all the planning, and get to the business of doing.

Have a nice weekend! I hope it finds you far from restless and taking in these amazing summer nights!

5 Reasons This Week Will Rock!

5 Reasons ATG FINAL


It was one of those weekends that just didn’t feel long enough. All I seem to recall was a wedding on Saturday night, seeing another gal rock pretty much the exact same dress as me at said wedding (but to help with the sting some, it did look slightly better on me. 😉 ); 2 lemon drops, a trip to Target, a stop at Trader Joe’s and somehow it’s already Monday. I’m not too stoked about this, but understand that one cannot just wish their life away incessantly waiting for the weekend to arrive once again. This new week brings a few fun things to look forward to.

Here are 5 reasons this week will rock:

#1. Two words: Restorative. Yoga. (I’m so excited about my first restorative yoga class in ages! Yes, this is about the easiest form of yoga you can do – you basically pay to take a nap for an hour and a half…and I’m okay with this.)

#2. Joy the Baker’s Fresh Blueberry and Mint Lemonade (hello!) coming to a taste bud near me! This looks so refreshing, I can’t stand it nor wait to whip up a batch. The only hurdle is that I neglected to get the blueberries when I was at the grocery store yesterday. No worries. I’m all over it and will report back.

#3. I’m REALLY trying to get into Orange is the New Black. I was semi-interested after the first episode, totally bored by the second, though much less bored by the third. I’m aiming to give it some time to see what all the fuss is about. It’s one of the most buzzed about shows on TV currently, however, I’m just not seeing why as of yet. I’m giving it 3 more episodes/nights on the couch to suck me in, otherwise I’m moving on.

#4. Trader Joe’s Chicken Lasagna. Picture this: a $4.99 lasagna that’s pre-made in the refrigerated section that merely requires a gal to pop it in the oven for 45 minutes (I like it almost burnt), have a gourmet meal, AND get at least 3 nights worth of grub out of it? This gem, my current obsession, will be my dining companion over Orange is the New Black.

#5. Starting my next book club read: MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche.

These are 5 reasons this week will rock! I hope yours does too!

See you Wednesday!

Highlights

Life Lately ATG FINAL


You know how the moment you mentally pat yourself on the back about something, the universe has a way of having the last laugh?

I was just telling someone not too long ago that it’s been awhile since I’ve had a “brush with the law.” Let me preface this by saying that we’re not talking arrests here, boys and girls. I’m referring to traffic-related incidents of the speeding/parking ticket variety only. I’ve made it a point to be on-top of being an upstanding citizen. I don’t have a record (and plan to keep it that way), but this phrase just sounds so much more deliciously dramatic!

Anywho…

So there I was watching someone get a ticket for what appeared to be a moving violation of some sort and turning and saying, “You know what? I can’t even remember the last ticket I got? It’s been forever, years!” I mentally smiled to myself and moved on about my day.

It’s a near daily thing to see someone get pulled over in LA. Likely for texting while driving, perhaps speeding; but it’s ALL too common to see parking tickets being handed out like free perfume samples in a department store. I mean, if you have ever experienced parking a car in Los Angeles – you have to (HAVE TO) develop a fine-tuned skill set at reading parking signs. And I thought I had mastered that…until last Wednesday night.

After an engaging book club discussion at one of my favorite cafes – I thought I would treat myself to a piece of cake to take home from their bakery. This required standing in line again. I didn’t care. I just pictured myself freshly showered, curled up in bed with a huge slice of cake on my lap, and my Kindle in my hand losing myself in my most recent book once I got home to end a good day.

I know exactly where things went wrong. As I walked away from my car (on the exact same street I’ve parked several times before, no less!) I wasn’t thinking and mis-read the sign. The street becomes permit parking only after 9:00pm. I’m usually done with my book club a few minutes before then, but that night we got into the most fascinating discussion…then I went on a mission for that slice of cake.

As I walked back to my car with my $7.00 slice of blue velvet cake, I recall being happy after some much-needed female bonding time. However, the closer I got to my car, the more something didn’t feel right. And there it was. Bright, white, and glaring at me. A parking ticket.

And you know what? I didn’t get mad at all. In fact, I started laughing.

Naturally, the moment I declared how great I had been at avoiding those infamous parking tickets, a few weeks later, one arrives, breaking my 6 year record. (There really is something to the “Law of Attraction.”)

I looked at the time on the dash when I got into my car: 9:24pm. I looked at the time on the ticket: 9:04pm. I missed it by 20 minutes…because of a frosted covered carb craving.

So I did what any gal had to do. As I drove home, I started to rethink my budget to accommodate this unexpected expense.

Once I updated my records with the new game plan after arriving home, I moved on with my evening as planned. I showered, grabbed my now $75.00 slice of blue velvet cake, read for an hour or so, and went to bed.

The highlight of my week? The universe having the last laugh at me…and me laughing along. 🙂

Aside from this small tale, I’m happy to share that I’m crossing things off my summer bucket list! I found a great new yoga studio and look forward to my first class this weekend.

With that, the weekend will also find me hastily finalizing my look for a beach wedding I’m going to on Saturday evening….and, of course, taking care of that $68.00 parking ticket.

And p.s. – it’s not something I’d make a habit of…but that slice of cake gave me two night’s worth of dessert and was totally worth it!

Happy weekend to you! xx


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100 Happy Days: The End.

Day100ATGFINAL{Day 100: Sunshine.}

It’s the end of 100 consecutive days of happiness. Well, at least when it comes to the 100 Happy Days Challenge. I finished last week!

What a truly unique and enlightening experience.

As I mentioned when we checked in on the first 50 days, you really can find joy in your day no matter what type of day you’re having – if you only stop and pay attention. I think this is what taking on this practice re-iterates. I’ve had some tough times hit during those 100 days, yet I still made it a point to always find the silver-lining; be it in the sun beaming down on my face, enjoying an afternoon treat, starting a new book, or trying out a new nail polish. It’s about the small things.

One of the reasons that I started blogging was to celebrate and document my life, my world. It’s made me a better person for it. My eyes are always on the look-out for excitement, happiness, lessons learned, and new experiences (if only because it helps with writer’s block and gives me something to blog about!).

So as I wrap up this part of my journey, I hope to continue to grow into the type of person always looking for authentic joy.

Thanks for indulging me! Here are posts #51 through #100. Moments I look back on fondly.

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Summer Bucket List

Summer Bucket List

It’s beginning to look a lot like summer! And I’m just giddy about it. Ever since summer joined us not so long ago, I’ve been thinking about my bucket list – things I’m looking forward to doing and accomplishing to celebrate my favorite time of year. Outside of plenty of time on the beach, nursing iced lattes, and keeping sandal-ready toes – there are few personal goals, activities, and random to-do’s I have in mind. In honor of the start to summer, I thought I’d share my list – just in time for what I consider to be the epitome of summer fun in the sun, the 4th of July.

Summer 2014 Bucket List:

  1. Find a new yoga studio.
  2. Reorganize my closet.
  3. Spend a lazy Saturday at Paradise Cove.
  4. Buy a new iPod and load it with tons of new tunes. (Mine officially died in May and it’s been torture not having it.)
  5. Hit the Hollywood Bowl for a night of music under the stars. (You can read about past Hollywood Bowl awesome-ness here and here.)
  6. Dust off my tools/supplies and get back into jewelry making.
  7. Take one of the L.A. Conservancy’s Walking Tours of Downtown L.A.
  8. Attend a baseball game.
  9. Spend more time with girlfriends.
  10. Go for a picnic in Griffith Park.

With that, I’ll be out the rest of the week enjoying the long holiday weekend ahead. Have a happy and safe 4th of July!

See you next week!

Highlights

Day89{Day 89: A Saturday morning walk around Lake Balboa.}

The last full week of June. The first full week of summer.  Day 95 on the 100 Happy Days Challenge. And the icing on the cake? It’s Friday!

I’m glad for it.

Not a bad week on my end. I’m just tired, in need of a real vacation. You know, the kind where you get on an airplane and land in a far away place where you spend the next 3 weeks straight immersed in “otherness.” That “otherness” being pretty much any and everything that take you away from the day-to-day, to really unplug and recharge. I’m a full-blown adult now and I’ve never had an authentic “otherness” vacation. Not something I’m proud of, not something that I hope at all continues, it’s just a fact.

With the introduction of summer, I’ve spent a lot of time this week, thinking about my bucket list. At the start of every season, I like to celebrate by thinking about my personal goals and/or fun-filled activities that I’d like to accomplish by the end of the season. There’s something unique about summer, in particular, that make crafting my bucket list lots of fun. There’s so much going on in LA during the next few months. With the addition of the warmer weather and long sunshine-filled days, the possibilities are endless.

I’m very much looking forward to the 4th of July weekend vastly approaching, though not quite sure what’s in store. I haven’t made plans yet, likely because it crept up on me if I’m at all honest about it. I suppose it’s time to start brainstorming. As long as there are fireworks involved, I’ll be happy.

I just checked my calendar and it’s blank. Who-hoo! No big plans this weekend other than the usual chores and errands.

As cliché as it sounds (because every female alive is guilty of this), I’ve been struggling lately with that “I don’t have anything to wear, I need new clothes!” phenomenon that tends to hit every so often. I feel like I’m constantly recycling the same pieces in my closet and it’s because I’m realizing that I’m missing a few staples (i.e. the perfect black skirt, a more tailored light blazer/jacket for summer, etc.). Essentially, I just need to throw a few new pieces into the mix and that should solve it. The problem is that it’s no secret that while I appreciate fashion as much as the next girl, I HATE shopping and don’t spend tons of money on clothes as many women my age are known to do. My monetary indulgences lean more toward lattes and earrings…oh, and paying bills 🙂

That being said (and even though I hate shopping, especially when you’re trying to find certain items), I’ve been wanting to work new options into rotation and have been meaning to check out this supposed “awesome” thrift store that I heard about in Santa Monica. This might be a good weekend to head over toward the beach and see if I can muster the strength to find that awesome one-of-a-kind new wardrobe item.

Other than that, it’ll probably just be me, a book, my boyfriend, and Netflix for the next 2 days. We’re finally starting the 3rd season of The Killing, just in time to catch the premiere of the 4th season, which starts in August.

I hope your weekend finds you doing something fantastic!

Day87

{Day 87: Still Crushing on Coral.}

Day88

{Day 88: Happiness is gas less than (barely) $4/gallon. I was a youngin’ but I remember when gas was 97¢.}

Day91

{Day 91: That Monday morning I laughed at how over-cluttered/ridiculous my makeup bag has become. Who needs all this?}

Day93

{Day 93: Another day. Another film. Still my favorite place to be.}

Day90

{Day 90: Still Smiling! DeLorean sighting.}


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100 Happy Days: The 1st 50

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I’m nearing the end of the 100 Happy Days Challenge, with 9 days left to go! By nature, I always try to find gratitude in my life and in every situation, even when things aren’t going so well. This doesn’t mean that I don’t ever sulk because I certainly can, and do. But even during those times, I make it a point to always find a piece of joy in the day and be grateful for it. (Then I might feel better and move on, or continue to sulk – it just depends). 🙂

So the challenge for me wasn’t so much in finding something to smile about everyday, but remembering to document it and keep track of what day I was on! And even though I’ve spent much of my time over the last few years really being mindful about finding the joy in the little things, this was still different. Over the last 91 days, I’ve had to consciously stop at least once in the day to think about what I wanted my 100 Happy Days post to be, while also being completely accountable at consistency. And that’s where the challenge lies, to keep going no matter what type of day (or series of days) you’re having. You’re still looking for that moment that brought even the tiniest sprinkle of happiness, snapping a picture, and posting it. Every. Single. Day. For 100 days.

Admittedly, there was one day where I took the picture, but forgot to post it. (Doh!) I simply put it up on Twitter first thing the next morning when I realized I’d forgotten, found a new post for that day later in the afternoon, and kept going.

I thought it would be fun to look back at the 1st 50 days on the challenge and reminisce. Interestingly (though not surprisingly), it seems many of my days find that moment of joy when there’s good food or iced vanilla lattes involved (don’t judge!). But, I also adore the simplicity of many of the posts – I’m not necessarily out doing anything big or special. I can clearly see that joy did and does come in the small things most days. It’s in looking up at the sky admiring that trademark LA sunshine through the trees and clouds, it’s starting a new book on my kindle, smelling a beautiful bouquet of roses that my boyfriend gave me, drinking a cup of tea, or watching an old movie.

I’m proud to say, I can see the finish line just a few more days ahead. I look forward to sharing the last 50 days with you when I complete the challenge in early July.

This has truly been a great exercise in finding happiness in my day, every day. Here are the moments from Day #1 to Day #50 that made me smile!

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Highlights

Day82

{Day 82: Not a bad view while running errands on a gorge Saturday afternoon. I sure do love palm trees, high in a clear blue sky.}

Not to be a “Negative Natalie,” but this was a pretty lousy week if I’m totally honest. Boooo! (Let me take a moment to re-iterate that…BOOOO!) And it certainly didn’t help that I spent much of my free time reading (which is one of my favorite ways to unwind) the worst book possible guaranteed NOT to cheer you up, The Fault in Our Stars. What a devastatingly beautiful story though, a book that makes you laugh out loud then cry 5 pages later. I finished it a few nights ago. One of the main things that I’ll take away from Hazel and Augustus’ tragic situation is that any human being walking this planet with their health in good standing is richer than a millionaire. It was also a reminder to make the most of your time here on Earth, surrounding yourself around those that love you, that will always be there for you…even on the days when you’re not your best self.

I’ve been debating when to see the film, if I’m ready to re-live the devastation and beauty again so soon. I can already tell that I won’t like the movie as much as the book (but isn’t that always the case?), though I’m always curious how books translate to the big screen. Perhaps I should give myself some distance before taking the plunge to see the film. Then again, perhaps I should just get it over with. Better to already be in the middle of a not so great mood when seeing a film like this, than being super chipper only to crash two hours later after seeing such a depressing movie, ruining the rest of your day.

But enough about my less than stellar week. Time to look ahead to the weekend (THANK GOD). I have a few fun things to look forward to. I plan to welcome the first day of summer with a gorgeous early morning hike. The goal being to remove myself a bit from the city to enjoy nature, take a few deep breaths, and re-energize my mood after such a crappy week (oops, there’s “Natalie” again). I’m also super excited to finally check out the much hyped about LA Chapter since the big Ace Hotel renovation downtown. (Not to worry boys and girls, I’ll report back if this place is worth the hype!)

And of course, I’m ready for a new read. Let’s just say it’ll be lighter in tone after The Fault In Our Stars.

Transitioning to more positive things – the 100 Happy Days Challenge is coming along, and I must say, the premise works even during a not so great week. Despite what may be going on in your life, there’s always SOMETHING that brings a smile to your face – even if it’s the simplicity of eating your first Snickers Almond Bar in ages.

Have a good weekend!

Day85

{Day 85: That aforementioned Snickers Almond Bar.}

Day84

{Day #84:  What happens when you walk through Macy’s with a coupon. Gosh – I just LOVE these earrings and I LOVE the name. Who doesn’t want to wear “C.A.K.E.”?}

Day86

{Day #86: That time three little grilled shrimp in my salad made my Wednesday.}

Day81

{Day #81: The Fault in our Stars, my go-to latte, and the open outdoors during an afternoon break.}